.captivating night.touches me foreva.

hi dead blog

2010-02-03T01:19:00.002+08:00

hi dead blog. i doubt no one reads you these days. maybe i can bring you back to life. c=

okay, this topic on friends. i find it difficult to make new friends nowadays. when i say new friends i mean forming really really close-knitted relationships. with a newly formed barrier of trust and belief, i find it difficult to step outside of my circle. i think it comes from past experiences you know and the process of becoming an adult, maybe? don't you all think so? its kinda sad, but what can you do?

2008-08-28T23:16:00.002+08:00

heys! gosh..can u believe what a day it has been for me??? Today is officially the first day of my 8am-4am day with only 1 h break..hahaa..AND after a long and tiring day..i went home on bus 95..which was vv packed as usual..the onli difference was that i was standing practically AT the door..and i mean AT the door..like i was holding on to the front door throughout the whole journey.. DEN FINALLY the bus arrived at the buona MRT station..so wats the big deal? well..actually it was not a vv BIG deal ..just that my toes went UNDER the front bus door when it opened! And basically my toes were the ones that prevented the bus door frm opening.. haa.. strong ah my feet.. can u believe it?!? it was the FIRST time that smth lik tt happened to me! dotz! Madness! hahaa..but just superficial injuries though..hahaa.. *note 28/8/2008*..

aniw..bou school..stil e same..same old boring routine..4 day wk..slp..eat..go sch..study..go home..eat..slp..go sch..study..go home..eat..slp..go sch..etc..etc

one word: SIANZzzzzzz............

*wat shld i do to make my life more exciting???* and yet not tiring..hee..c=

AND wat to do with my DrJava???!!!?? I cant use it on my laptop!!! how how how???

first official blog of 2008

2008-08-24T00:39:00.007+08:00

hi ppl! yoz..currently im in NUS Sci Fac now..if you're wondering..hahaa aniw..i haven been updating my blog for quite a period of time...or rather its 1 year minus 6 days..hahaa.. okay..so wat shld i talk abou now? brain bit rusty..hmm.. school? okay..its officially e end of my first slackish 2 weeks of lecture in NUS..which MEANS tutorials are gonna start next wk..which is really really soon.. haiz.. haa.. n i haven attempted to do any yet..to date..lolz..

ANiw.. we went for our FIRST OG OUTING today! Iceskating at Jurong Fuji Ice Palace..cool..actually i kinda wanted to skate for sometime alr..hahaa..so finally i got it off the back of my mind..ha.. 12 of us went.. it was quite a pleasant one..lookin forward to the nxt OG outing.. and abigail suggested KBOX..cool..duno if the guys wld sing though..hahaa..(they usually wun..as far as i noe frm experience..ha..)

AND its really weird writing bou happy things..when i haven been NOT acting emo on my blog for such a long time..hahaa..crap..

hmm..i really duno wat to say.. lets just end tis post for now.. mayb i wil go research for more things to talk about..hahaa..so long! c=

random

2008-08-21T11:53:00.001+08:00

HEY YOZ! long time no see blog! hahaa..c=..just droppin by to say hello to my blog..hee..c= will talk to ya nxt time!

2007-08-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

Hello to e world!
that's a seemingly cheery greeting in case u haven noticed..im not always in such a good mood..as what u see me as..to me, the world seems cool n distant. its so near yet so far. relationships in life are precious..but how long can they last? however, memories are different. they will exist for eternity as long as e human brain is functioning. so i shld live on memories and cherish them while i still have the capability and the capacity. i shld create more memories with the people most important around me while i still can. i tink friends, as long as they exhibit human characteristics and are hundred percent human beings, can never never stay the same. the good thing is tt the brain will always remem the good things as it is..the feeling of having such good old friends i met years ago. e memories of which will only exist for me and only me. in my own secluded mind. perhaps this is considered as deluding self. but that is how it works. believe it or not. thats how u can survive in life. adding on to ur purpose in life. without it. one would not be able to survive. family. friends. and love.

2007-08-24T21:24:00.000+08:00

A joy that is shared suggests a group of friends playing, or a carefree young girl singing to herself while engaged in her work. Happiness is rising within, and spreading out into the world!

Joy comes into the world through gentle means, but springs from a solid inner base. The power of pure joy should not be underestimated. The enjoyment of learning and discovery, for example, has been the source of much material progress. Accordingly, that which brings joy into the world is a source of considerable power.

If happiness is supported by personal stability, it will in time wear down the stiffest barrier and win over the hardest heart. True joy is a beacon in the world, and though it is indeed rare, its presence is an indication of great good fortune, both now and in the future. How could it be otherwise?

2007-08-18T17:21:00.000+08:00

Imitation of Life by 'gilad

I don't feel like myself today
Trapped in a miracle I never asked for
In a life that goes on without a will to survive
I look around and I see the things I despise grow
I look at myself and I see who I never wanted to be
I look at my future and all I see is an imitation of life

dated 2006.

2007-07-30T21:25:00.000+08:00

It started out just like every other day, but some far empire decided this is D day

The world began changing right in front of my eyes.

What use to be life, crawled up and died

I'm an angel, but now I'm unable to fly, watching the ground, this tree, the sky.

I'm fighting for air, while loosing my faith, climbing back to the sky, and crashing through space

The breakdown has started with this tear in my wings, but the restoration is near, and will begin with only four things.

The ground, a tree and sky, and a powerful spirit simply fighting to fly.

-Bitter End

by Gilad Benari

emo

2007-07-30T21:00:00.001+08:00

My life got me weary

Searching for a shading

Until i found a spice

Hiding in your shade

All my life really needs

Is a touch of crayon... and you

-A Touch Of Crayon

by Gilad Benari

hope?

2007-07-25T18:50:00.000+08:00

i feel that i am happy again.
after so much going on in my head
it feels like it's coming back again.
the happiness in me.
or is it so?

day of nationals.

2007-07-06T00:32:00.000+08:00

Today is the day of Nationals for Div A Girls Pistol. Today is the day of failure. I have failed to do my best. I have failed to trust myself. I have failed to have confidence in myself. I have failed to believe in myself. Can you imagine the impact these 3 words have on me? if i had done tt, i wouldn be lamenting here alr. i will never forgive myself for these. doubting my ability. having no confidence in myself. failing to get free from the enveloping mist around me. juniors pls take my example as a lesson. never doubt your ability. have confidence. BELIEVE in YOURSELF. tts almost the most important thing to becoming a good shooter. believe me.

but wat is done is done. i wished i had told myself the exact same thing after the first series. and believed truly in the statement. but many including me failed to do that. only the best and the strongest can do it. If you wanna be the best and the first, you have to master that skill to convince yourself that its alright and you still can pull e scores up with the next few series. seriously. though you lost a few points. and you dun really noe how many exactly have you lost by coz you cant count scores during shooting a comp (as coach said) but not allowing yourself to count scores ALSO means that you dun care about the no. of 7s or 8s that you shot. You only care about the present shot. and your sighting. Dun bother to think how bad your first series is and that you will have to pull up your scores with the 2nd series..kinda thing. its useless i can tell you. the moment you keep thinking tt you wan to pull up your scores to help your first series, without concentrating on your grip, your front n rear sights, your trigger pressure, the way you stand, the movement of it all..the way you train during NORMAL training..it will stagnate or else worsen. believe me. its true. all you can do is to convince urself again and again. you haven shot lousily. every shot is a new series by itself. throw away your first series. CONVINCE yourself that you hav just started n nothing haa happened in the first series. you have not shot your first ten shots. you have just started. there is hope. there is chance. yes. den you continue with renewed confidence and hope. dun think about wat overall score you r goin to get. just feel it. feel your shot. feel the goodness of it. if it feels good enough. it cant go wrong. you will definitely succeed. trust yourself. BELIEVE in YOURSELF. nothing is impossible.

well this is my analysis after i shot nationals and it may be useful to a large extent in helping you excel in major competitions. after all take it easy. what is a major competition actually? its the same as every single competition. Come on..everything is the same ..the venue, the lightings, the weapon, the competitors from various schools, the coaches, the smell of the place, the floor, the carpet outside, the sound of the pellets hitting the metal board 10m away. u noe wat. its just a difference of the announcer saying Nationals instead of Monthly shoot or Nusis. well do you wan this one little word to affect you like crazy? of coz NOT. i mean wats your PROBLEM. getting all nervous just bcoz of one silly word. its nonsense. yeah. think this way. and you'd feel great. Listen to your heart. Believe in yourself. The actions reflect your feelings. Your feelings reflect your actions.

Near Future: Five of Cups>>>>>>>>>>-->

Main (positional) meaning General Position >>>>>>>>>>-->

Situations change and setbacks occur. While you accept that as the nature of the game, it doesn't mean the outcome will be unsatisfactory.

The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies.

With the Five of Cups in this position, you are called upon to temper inflated expectations. Whatever motivated you in the past no longer applies, because it's now apparent the situation is not going to turn out as you had wished. That doesn't mean it's destined to turn out badly. Reality takes a bite out of every dream. It's a natural adjustment to any ideal or vision. Occasionally we have to accept a humbling development.

Although you have some disappointment to work through, don't let it undermine your enthusiasm. You have not done the wrong thing, walked the wrong path or followed the wrong guidance. A zigzag path is just the nature of the path. You win some, you lose some. Don't let setbacks take you out of the game.

random but preaching session from jer he for the first n longest conversation

2007-04-27T21:38:00.000+08:00

yeah. we've got the new lp2s..our whole team got it. four of us. zihui fangxiao eunice n me. c= kinda of happy but not really sure how m i gonna get back the feeling of the old grip. the new one is realli bigger than the feinwerkbau P40 grip in a funny way. muz ask coach to file the grip for me again. today faizah n pflug said they wanna pull out of the exco selection..oh my..it will definitely be a pity if they really do decide to withdraw. well they have about few more days to decide. we'll see then. personally i hope they wouldn. yupz.

okie. now my muscles r aching from the taebo yesterday. more of the arm muscles tt r aching i duno y. mayb its training? OH..i jus remembered..its badminton! argh..i played badminton after PE..diaoz..no wonder my right arm muscles r achin the most. haha.

*****************************

27 April 2007

It is with grit and determination that you can push into worlds of thought that you'd normally steer away from. It's not the thinking that scares you; it's specifically what you are thinking about. Like buried treasure, great insights will be yours if you go into the hidden depths. The only thing to fear is ignorance. Should I venture or should i not? Should I attempt bcoz of him? i really duno. but his stand is rather firm. there is nth i can do but attempt only if i really desire to.

thurs night-supposed to do gp but tink i wil drag til tml

2007-04-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

hai.. actually i tink all tt im tinking of now is ACTUALLY just an eye candy. i mean..ya..looks smart. cool. dashing. but nth about him has any link to me. even though so near yet so far..u noe. haha. ya. tts right. u noe i actually realised tt long ago. but im attracted to just watch him. ya. watever. but this kind of thing fades u noe. i tink ppl r at their cutest when they do not noe tt they r cute. just by the way they behave and every other random thing they do.

ya. i tink im going mad.

okie. for shooting. i tink i shoot better now coz im more spaced out n my mind is in a blank. so i can really focus during shooting. but tts not exactly a good thing. rite? like becomin more stupid. ha. i tink shooting helps to destress.. i realised tt only this yr..just recently.. probably i would consider continuing my shooting in U.. as a hobby maybe.. my passion for shooting is growing. i mean compared to last yr..actually i like shooting u noe..last yr..but tt was when im stil sane for at least the very beginning of the yr. but of coz 99% of the time last yr..i m insane. like. ya. yupz. shooting destresses the mind. to me la. c=

n the reason y i didn write about my PW results is tt im too devastated about it to even talk about it. tt goes for every thing else. fine. now i duno if i wana hide in one corner and rot to death. or buck up n score 4 As for A levels.. but i seem to have lost my spirit u noe. the spirit tt i had for the past 16 yrs of my life. its seriously gone. its really sad. from the fella who have always been in the top category at least to a fella who is probably in the last of the last category. u noe i have always appeared strong and reliable to people who have known me since pri sch. like mentally strong n everything. but in actual fact im seriously weak. u noe the ppl who look strong outside r actually weaker than those who appear weak. i duno bou others but im definitely one of them. it seems really stupid for me to be talking about such stuff now. vv stupid. ppl r like gettin on with their life n living happily. studyin happily. talking happily. me? ha. i was neva really happy in this past one n a half yr i realise. i cant be happy anymore. i cant laugh. each time i laugh i dun feel happy at all. i feel lost. my soul is gone. im suffering all the repercussions this yr AND will continue to for the rest of my life. its like. WHY didn i screw up my PSLE or O levels instead? WHY is it A levels..when it determines ur everything. when it happens to be the yr tt i had gone mad. ha. n the fact is nothing can be changed. im living in my negative film. where everything is black n white. where everything is fading away. hello kelly. i wish someone would just shoot u in the head. so u can just die n rid the world of a useless thing. bye.

bored..in the process of poning econ remedial

2007-04-10T16:24:00.000+08:00

aaaaa...im dyin ...out of e blue i got this running nose..stuffy nose..n sorethroat...argh..just started yesterday night.. hai.. later going for arc training ..hai..i wan to improve n maintain but its simply too tiring..everything in fact..my studies + my pistol + my spirit..everything seems bleak. seriously.
I WANT MY LIFE BACK.
this is wat i want. i used to feel so confident of myself..doing things tt i HAV confidence in. now it is like shit. everything. everything tt i used to have n loved myself for having it is gone now. im struggling. everyday im struggling. duno if i wil b able to get into e sch team for nationals. aft so many mths of training any normal person wouldn wan tt to go to waste. my ct2..my efforts now are seriously not enough i noe it very well. but i noe it very well too that i M alr suffering even without having to work hard for my studies. u noe..i m only able to step out the school gates at minimum at 7 PM everyday..frm mon to fri. n everything's in a total mess. im living in uncertainty, man. damn screwed up. i noe i seem vv vulgar now. but i think i wil go bonkers if i dun say these things here. aaaaa....i want my life back. period. but how?? i noe i can split into two or more parts. n teleport to places. n sleep 0 hours. yes. it is possible.

done for.

2007-04-08T16:40:00.000+08:00

im done for. in my studies N the emotional side of me. its terrible jus thinking about it. but i cant do anything either. im jus dwellin around in circles in my head. i feel terrible. i noe i shouldn pity my pitiful life but it simply cant be helped. i jus cant stop thinking about everything. actually writing til here..makes the thing seem a bit unreal .. just like the feeling didn exist..or neva existed. but e funny thing is tt each time i feel its unreal n simply want to stop thinking..i wil always end up missing e memories.

2007-02-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

YOU ARE A BLOCKHEADBLOCKHEADBLOCKHEADBLOCKHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHH.................
I DO NOT.. I DO NOT WANT TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! STUPID IDIOT!!!!!!
WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???
WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE CASE?????????????? STUPID STUPID STUPID ME>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ARRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH>>>>>>>>>>> WHYWHYWHY????????? IM FRUSTRATED...VERY FRUSTRATED!!! BUT THERES NTH I CAN DO>>>>>>>>>>>ITS GETTING FURTHER N FURTHER ....WAY BEYOND MY REACH>>>>>>> WO BU GAN XIN=========ARGH>>> I CANT BELIEVE IT....ONE YEAR IS GONNA END SOON......=C=C=C=C=C=C...i really duno wat im gonna do. n now i really duno wat im talkin about. im going crazy. tts all tt i noe. E ODDS r ALL against me. no chance. i m realli sad.

CODE!!!

2007-02-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

YO PPL!!!
under the influence of the great wilkingson, i have too come up with a brand new code thought of by me and me only.
muahahahahahaaa....

BREAK IT IF YOU DARE!!!

muahhahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

AAA IKD JBL AAA IWY EHZ AAA TNT OUX AAA GQL DHI ZUY

YXZ CTV YTR AOE QFV SWR JBO NTZ

LVZ BJC FRL MGP WZY IEA QXV TRS PRK JON GCE UPW LHD COI KTK MDD

ADA RMN LOR!! C=

---only the GREAT MINDS think alike!!! c=---

2007-02-16T21:36:00.000+08:00

It can never happen rite?
can it?
i doubt so.

i like u

2007-02-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

ily.
i feel lost everyday.
wishing for at least one moment u might be thinking of me.
its useless worthless thinking on my part.
i juz hope this yr wouldn pass so soon.
so i could continue to watch you everyday.
i noe i shouldn think of such stuff rite now.
stop it.
i really do hope no one reads this post.

2007-01-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

e main purpose of tis post is to thank my dear angel (u noe who)..for e pleasant surprise yesterday!! honestly i was realli shocked n surprised in a good way..lol..it was realli e first time for me..well..tank u for creatin e memory of such a wonderful jts!! hahaa..for e benefit of people who r dying to noe wat im talkin bou.........my angel 'secretly' ordered brownie with ice-cream for me durin jts in fish & co glasshse..!! its realli sweet..tanks alot..c= angel wil be revealed at a later date..

2007-01-13T22:58:00.000+08:00

Buried Secret Forever

im tinkin too much.
reading too much into things only i who seem to care.
e person whom i yearned for.
didnt look back.
its like a hollow tube.
once i start.
i dun seem to want to end. but theres no ending i know vv well.
its useless.
it wil never happen.
i have to believe it will never happen.
but i dun want to.
e only way for my dream to come true is for me to be in my dreams forever.
i dun wan to ever wake up to this boring reality.
im hoping for a chance that wil never be mine.
all these words come from e deepest of my heart.
it doesn show on my face i reckon.
but its all written over my heart.
i feel silly. helpless.
cant help myself falling.
into a well yet n never will be dug.

2006-12-05T03:16:00.000+08:00

im in another dimension.
looking at e four walls around me
i feel lonely, helpless and empty inside.
i noe im lackin something which i cant put my finger on
or i just dun wan to face it.
my parents n sis lov me
isn't tt enough??
wat do i ask for?
besides 'studies' of coz
i ask myself
e ans is right in front
but i just cant grasp it.
its not within my reach
to my dismay.
i do not seem good enough.
why?

LIBRA goes with Gemini, Aquarius, Leo and Sagittarius. (Best match is Gemini)

Best Match For Libra Is Gemini
This can be the best match of all for you. Libra isn't so big on "fun" and adventure, but is intriguing, to say the least. This union can teach you to settle somewhat, but in a nice way. It is the best match due to the pure spiritual energy you share, the love will be deep indeed!
libra and gemini - astrological compatibility rank = 8 (10 is best)

Worst Match For Libra is Capricorn
The Capricorn isn't "social" or outgoing enough for you. More than that, they can't be bothered with all intellect and no action, they seek adventure where Libra seeks more low-keyed things.
libra and capricorn - compatibility rank = 1 (10 is best)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa................................

2006-11-14T02:46:00.000+08:00

2006-11-14T02:45:00.000+08:00

YOON EUN HYE!!!! luv ya!!!!

2006-11-14T02:36:00.000+08:00

YOON EUN HYE!!!! luv ya!!!!

2006-11-14T02:33:00.000+08:00

2006-10-31T23:31:00.000+08:00

yooooohooooooooooo~~~!!! YOON EUN HYE RAWKS!!!! c=....WOAH...oohhh...shes so cuteee...beautiful....sexy.....yeahh...*winks*
In case u duno.......
yoon eun hye = shen caijing = shin chae-gyung (GOONG!!!)
Profile of Yoon Eun Hye:
Age: 22 yrs
Birthdate: 3rd Oct 1984 = same birthday as meixin!!! hahaa..c=
Horoscope: Libra (woah...same as me!!!)
Height: 168cm
Weight: 48kg
Blood type: O
Education: JoongKyung High School
Present school: Kyung Hee University
c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=c=

Me??

2006-10-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Me??

Does your name begin with: K
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy.
You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this.
Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself.
When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert.
You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously.
You don't fool around.
You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.
You are very generous & giving, often selfless.
You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many.
You are a good friend.

OCTOBER
Loves to chat
Lov es those who loves him
Loves to takes things at the centre
Attractive and suave
Inner and physical beauty
Does not lie or pretend
Sympathetic
Treats friends importantly
Always making friends
Easily hurt but recovers easily
Bad tempered
Selfish
Seldom helps unless asked
Daydreamer
Very opinionated
Does not care of what ot hers think
Emotional
Decisive
Strong clairvoyance
Loves to travel, the arts and literature
Soft-spoken, loving and caring
Romantic
Touchy and easily jealous
Concerned
Loves outdoors
Lust and fair
Spendthrift and easily influenced
Easily lose confidence

Libra

Turn ons
Libra needs peace and harmony in all their relationship so help them maintain that. Venus the ruling planet gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.

Turn offs
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence do not start an argument or discussion unless of course you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably in between of discussion they may change their side too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience!

i need to wake a dead life

2006-07-27T21:54:00.000+08:00

okie..time to update lo!! lol..sry guys..nth to read nowadays..lol..okie..firstly..midyrs.. it sucks lik hell.. okie actually i gotta admit i didn study a thing..except for lik a flippin of e notes b4 e day of exam itself..so obviously my results reflect my laziness rite? make sense? okie..so i got lik..erm..two s and two u..c=..terrible piece of shit.. aniw..to b honest. i kinda regret it..was tinkin ..if i had studied..would i b even able to get a H3??? hahaz..lol..my heart kinda sank..when i heard my friens gettin h3..kinda sad sia..=c.. haiz..okie..its depressin i noe.. den to add on to tt..i got tis realli shockin news frm deon one day..he told tt he n matt were forced by their tutor to drop one subj to H1 ..! omg..den i was llik ..huh???? omg..when their results are even beta than mine..surely i wil b forced to drop oso...??? tis time my heart realli sank right to e bottom of e earth even...i foolishly play n play durin first six mths..n foolishly gav up e chance of getting h3..and NOw..i cant even guarantee my 4H2s..omg..i was jerked back to reality ..seriously.. for once in tis whole yr..blameblameblame..all on myself..wts e use..nth can b done..but i juz cant accept e earthshakin fact.. so i kept thinkin bou tis stuff.. i tink im gona b a bai fa mo nu soon.. so on tue i tink..ya..those who failed were supposed to see mrs koh..u see..so i went with franie durin break..well i spoke to mrskoh first..den she told me ..blahblahblah..den i was lik damn worried ..is she gona force me to drop to H1??? in e end..she didn realli giv me a definite ans..juz asked me wat m i gona do manz..n told me to plan a study timetable for her to see..n told me to see her again e next day..which i didn go .. kinda escapin e reality..tryin to hold back wateva she has to say to me for as long as possible..im scared seriously..n i really dun wana drop.. my goals wil immediately shatter to e floor once im forced to .. den by tt time nth can b done..my future is gone.. foreva.. n i come frm an average family..no money no wealth or wat so eva..cant even say tt im gona continue my dad's business or smth..cant even say tt i wana b an entrepreneur without even a cent of capital.. i can realli say byebye to my dreams for good.. if ...if..i hv to drop.. now im lik strugglin ..n prayin to heavens or smth.. tryin so hard to convince myself tt it wun happen..they wil onli drop u at promos if u stil get poor grades.. but i cant help tinkin bou it..well..e reason is i stil haven seen mrs koh for e second time..i realli duno wat she has to say..damn afraid ... okie..sry to those ppl readin tis..its realli depressin.. but my life now is definitely at e bottom of e valley..

freakin out..aahhhhhhhhhhhhh

2006-06-16T20:23:00.000+08:00

its ONLY 5 DAYS LEFT FOR ME TO MUG!!!!....aHaahaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .....im freakin out...!! hm...*calculatin* theres only less than 2 days per subject...excludin GP...aaaaahhhhhh....im gona die..die..die...H3 fly away...i tink i wil get lik..mayb..4 Fs????? thats lik 99.999999999% high possibility... damn stressed now...for e first time in my life...i feel so insecure...especially when i haven been listenin to ANY..now mind u..its ANY of e lectures of ALL e subjects..mg..definitely gg'ed... feel damn insecure..manz...aaaahhhhhh....and i stil cant brin myself to touch anything..coz its too difficult to catch up..so actually im escapin frm everything..wastin time.. TIME IS PRECIOUS NOW>>>>.....and i duno y oso im typin my blog..when im supposed to b studyin lik a madman now..argh...

okie..tml's e famine camp thingy..im supposed to reach there at 9.30..damn early..gotta wake up at lik 7 plus ...tink wil end up wakin up at 8 plus..den gona b late..but HEY..e dry run last sat..i was early manz..e earliest..yea!! reached at 8.31..okie late by one min..but earliest!! c= okie..its bit lame..aniw.. oh ya i forgot ..haven packed my clothes..hehez..yea..gona stay overnight at wil's hse..seems fun..c= said he got a guestroom..hahaa..okie i really shouldn b talkin bou tis..when i hav loads of worries on my mind..bou muggin..shit..haven started A thing at all..at least yumi started muggin i tink..me e worst sia..argh..okie..enough..i go watch tv show..oops..sigh..i really duno when i can smack myself in e face n tell myself to mug..my fault..argh...

sianz..

2006-06-05T02:27:00.000+08:00

i haven started muggin yet..one week..n 1 day has passed..

*..cant control e emotions overwhelming..so wrong.. but i cant do anything right..i cant follow my heart.. tis is for sure..for life..for eva.. definitely infinitely~..there is a silent waterfall cascading...beside me..*

first day at work..flyers..

2006-06-04T00:17:00.000+08:00

yo! paiseh..im updatin for yesterday..duno y neva write yesterday leh..too tired i guess..hahaa..aniw its my first day..givin out flyers ...omg...firstly..i damndamndamn late ...in e morn..pei my mum go supermarket to get things for my sis bbq..see i so nice..c=..ddeeennn.. forgot to keep track of time..in e end..i bathe n come out look at e time..omg..gg'ed ..its 2 alr..when im supposed to meet e person ..gerard..at 2.15 at somerset mrt.. haiz..so damn worried...when i reached there ..he was lik ok..but he said since u late for lik half an hour..so muz bu hui..soo..i did frm 3 to 6..instead of 2.30 to 5.30..followin by 6 to 9..hahaa..den i damndamndamn sianz..after e first 3 hours le..e ppl ALL ..mostly laa..dao me lik hell..give them den..worse thing is they pretend not to see me..sickening idiots..boo*.. aniw..was smsing yumi n litian..duno y oso..(hahaa) tt i damn bored..sianz..den suddenly duno y litian called me and said HEY ..i thot u givin out flyers at PS..i thot i saw u lehzzz...den i was lik ...noonnooo...wat..im at lucky plaza...den damn weird..said he was with his frienz..at ps..den i msged him..asked him wat u doin at ps..den he said he went shoppin..den his frienz left alr..den he asked wanna eat dinner not? den i was lik..huhh..damn weird..two of us?? DEN suddenly my sixth sense or instinct or wateva u call it..hm..smelt smth fishy..litian usually go out with us de ma..okie..so i b detective n msged yumi..ask her whether wana eat dinner not..DEN she said she was at HOME..stil say i siao..hahaa...den i say u whole day at home ar?? bit impossible rite....okie im bein vv lo suo bou tis..hahaa..okie..den i was talkin to sinee on my hp..DEN suddenly..wah i saw a girl who look lik yumi..carryin e same bag ..3 quarters pants..black shirt..same hairstyle..walkin happily sia..across e road..wow..sssooooooo qiao..den i stood up den i saw a guy with e hairstyle exactly e same lik litian..standing happily across e street..mg..damn scandalous sia..muahahaaa..c= damn shocked leh me..they come n ka jiao me at work..really ar..they al..mg..tsktsk..hahaa..den later i suan them al e way..muahahaaa...okie laa..i admit i slacked al e way since i arrived at lucky plaza at 6 plus..slack until 8..den they came along..den i..hm..sort of..finished my job...which was supposed to end at 9..hm..feel damn bad..but i really bth le..ppl all dao me..so maw chao~...hahaa..oops...sorry gerard n lyon..okie back to topic..so later we went shoppin for a while..den wanna eat dinner..den yumi PSed us..humph..so me n litian went to eat dinner at foodrepublic..ate lik half bowl of beef beehoonhuay..hahaa..den litian ate beef daoxiaomian..lik jelly sia..his noodles..hahaaa..c= aiya..den talked for a while..den chao~ at around 10pm..okie laa..so tts my day..c=

okie..for today!! i woke up..at 10am..when im supposed to b in sch at 1030..to open e range..hahaa..made josh n chris wait for me..until 1110..i tink..oops..den haiz..i stoned all e way until 130..took bus36 frm vj to suntec..went to eat fried rice with chicken cutlet n fishcake myself..luckily sia..almost tempted myself to eat carls junior..e onionrings..=c..hahaa..so aniw..den i went to shop a bit myself..den stoned until 130 lo..den met gerard at cityhallmrt..n yumi..oh yah..yumi was laatteee.....okie laa..by ten minutes nia..YAH.,.den today damn zai..i went to esplanade to giv out..yumi went suntec..so..after lik one hour..we finished all our flyers le..which wer supposed to last for 5 hours..muahaahaa...earned lik hell..hahaa..one hour = 5 hours pay..hahaa..30 bucks..for one hour..song bo...aniw..jioed lt n wil n jess out..went shoppin ate stuff..den yumi PSed went for wushu again..so left four of us..continued shoppin for someone's present ..but e design tt was e best was bit too ex sia..so we decided to eat laa..hahaa..at first wanted to budget ..eat e 3dollar jap noodles at e foodcourt downstairs..den duno who..oh..was it me..yah..suggested pepper lunch..hahaa..finally i tried e salmon thingy at pepper lunch..hahaa..den damnweird..i went toilet den when i came back they talkin bou jess bein man..hm..i bit no comments laa..but actually i find her okie ma..quite girl wat..only a tiny bit man nia..which is okie wat..for ppl nowadays..hahaa..c= okie laa..today i write bit too much liao..*end*

happy day sia with k4

2006-06-02T01:47:00.000+08:00

yo!! ok..for once..im gonna b happi...for all those who complained tt my blog's too sad...hahaha...kkz..today went to jeremy he's hse..to do pw..ended up..ok i slacked..c=..sorry to my pw mates..hahaa...aniw his com damn cool laa..got e strokeit thingy..which i downloaded alr juz now...hahaa..oso damn lotz of funny videos n movies he got sia..cool*..ok..den went with litian wilson to pc fair at suntec to check out e stuff...cool..learnt lotz of new stuff today..lik fujitsu labtop e best..den dell's not e good..n 160GB memoryspace is big..ok laa.. at least now i noe tt my com can store lotz stuff..hahaa...c= okie..den jess came to join us later..actually we wanted to jio yumi out..but she wnted to go out with her mum...hm..duno y too..so guai.c= aniw..later i pang sehed them for dinner to meet k4(rawks!!) at tamp mall...so lt wilson jess went for their own dinner..duno wat they ate..hm..hahaa..but i ate swensen's ..damn bo hua..ate curry chicken baked rice..costs 12.10 bucks..den i suggested cartel's for dessert..hahaa..c=..so we went there ... den damn cheapo laa...hahaa..we waited for 9 o'clock for e 50% discount for e cakes..muahahaa...den mx n ws ordered auntie's chewy choco fudge cake..i tink tts e name? ...den tong ate tiramisu..wHilE i ate eastside brownie stack..muahahahaa..aiya..jus missed e taste laa..since e day i ate with josh n deon at cartel ..hm..quite long time ago..c= ...den we stoned ..n reminisced for damn long...frm lik 9 plus to 11plus..okie laa ..not vv long..at least not as long as i stoned with s39s...hahaa..c= felt quite happy today..reunion of k4..!! oh ya...when we sent wingsum off on bus 28..den me n meixin stoned damn long after e bus left..only to realise tt actually we could hav taken e bus back..damn lame laa...stil say bye bye ..as if its damn normal...hahaaa...laughed lik siao..stupid leh..us...hahaaaaaaa...c= okie..haiz..sianz..tml im workin frm lik 230 to 830..6bucks perhour..one person..=c ..lonely sia..but mei ban fa laa..i wan $$..pathetic 36 bucks..for standing for 6 hours straight sia..haiz..*stil haven touched my books..not even my desk*..gonna DIE..DIE..die....die....

boo

2006-06-01T00:07:00.000+08:00

u noe.. sometimes i feel its kinda meaningless to live..on tis puny tiny world..where sometimes its so lonely..even with a bunch of friends crowding around u..c= haiya nvm laa...
okie..todays a damn sian day..went for arc at 11 ++ am... met matthew on e bus..hahaa..c= den ended around 3..went for lunch with zihui n shunyuan..ate kfc..damn full... actually i wanted to go out..but too few pppl sia..didn go in e end..went home..watched tv..wah..long time since i ever did tt..hahaa..too bad today dun hav xin niang 18 years..hehez..nice show..c= aniw den slack until now..lo..watch da chang jin..den came online..wah my day wasted sia..haven touched my books yet..boo*..

sianz..hols

2006-05-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

sianzzsz....laaaaa......e start of hols...no school ...yea!! but bad news ...cant see zai kias n everyone else everyday...=c ...just a few days i miss u all alr..siao liao..boo*..aniw..i been slackin e whole time frm yesterday evening til today..practically stonin sia..my god...supposed to mug..but i cant bear to touch my books ...aaaahhhhhh...tink i gg le for midyr...hahaa...now my brain is only tinkin bou e KBOX on tue..oh yah..they goin singpost study today..c=

boo

2006-05-24T23:10:00.000+08:00

yo! today's hockey finals for gals n guys..e gals won!! yea!! 1-0..champions sia..but sadly e guys lost..to Rj..sickening ..2-0..=c..but their game was much more exciting than e gals one..too bad we lost..Aniw.. haha..all e arc j1s pon to watch hockey i tink..haha..damn zai..even jiaying oso watched hockey..tsktsk..hahaa~..hopin for half day tml..thurs..den can slack ...i realise for e first time i missed parkway..hahaa..after all its only two yrs..must cherish sia..

oh yah..shoots! argh..i forgot i hven write e letter thingy..omg..gg'ed..only left tml n today to do it..aaahhhh...actually i duno wat to write to e pai kia gang la..n some of e rest..gj la..wilson la..etc etc..sometimes its more difficult to write to ppl closer to ya..c=.. got to tink lotz sia..so ok..i only hv 1 day left ...boo..

ah..i just realised today tt i've lost my aim of life..hahaa..sounds cliched..but i really lost it leh..tink i play too much le..since i came to vj..met tis class woosh. 06s39 ...i drifted..heck cared my goals..i used to hav in e past..ps all my AHfriends for e class..cant believ it leh..den supposed to join sci research club..den wei le kbox n poolin n all e stuff to do with 06s39..i gav it up..mg..wat was i doin..? my dream since childhood of being a doc..kinda faded with time..suddenly i woke up..today..realised i shld hv chosen nus h3 chem..n not ucles h3 maths..totally no link with wat i wanna do later..argh..wat m i to do..how m i gona reach my aim..argh.. wo shu le.. im a total loser at a total loss..

2006-05-22T19:17:00.000+08:00

Haiz..my chem spa..today..mg..gg'ed le..u noe sodium mr 23 x2 = 46..i stupid go n write 64..omg..i noe how to do de!! y muz it happen.....=c... somemore i slept yesterday plannin to wake up at night to study chem spa de...but in e end..slept until 3 in e morn..mg.. i woke up thinkin wat day is it la.. sianz..den i woke up walk around lik zombie..den later go n bathe.. ok..den started lookin at e skillCD paper.. ok.. read n read..aiya 5 am..feel lik sleepin again..go n tak out my contacts n sleepin...DEN omg..i woke up at 6.30am!!! chiong n chiong..finally took e bus 27 at 7.52am..lucky sia..stil managed to take 36 at 7.24am..hahaa..zia ar.. aiyo..den i realised i forgot to tak my jeans n pe tee..cannot go for ARC le..gg la..wil be missin all my trainings tis week..except mayb only wed...today i pon econs lecture ..yea!! reached home at lik 4.30..damn early..hahaa..

finally !!..our class assigned to watch tennis match tml..yea!! off at 1.20pm..instead of lik 3.40..ok la..not too bad..but only miss 2 hours plus nia..hahaaz..

haiz..damn sad..arc announced exco posts last sat..didn get wat i wanted ..damn sad..e person tt i expected to get tt post oso didn get it..haiz.. pity for him.. aiya..e seniors just duno how to pick de la.. just one stupid speech..n one sorang interview..baaa...den pick alr.... nonsense sia.. dun even noe e character..responsiblities..capabilities..rubbish*.. dun even respect them anyway.. wth.. AHS guides e best la... rawks manz...Go AH..GOOOoooo!!!

last sat ..mr chow asked us to write smth bou visualisation ...wat e crap.. haven write yet.. muz hand up tml..crap..boo*..ok la..if u all happen to read this..i was juz expressin my bottled feelings in an exaggerated manner...nth much.. relax..juz sprouting nonsense..im stil as good as ever..c=

yah! today guojie suddenly took a bag of envelopes and asked e class to write their names on them..oso to write to those that are counted friends to them..hm..tink if i hav time i wil write to all..everybody in e class..but tiring sia..lik homework lik tt..noe i write one letter take damn long de...coz i dun wat to write..den muz put my words tackfully somemore..difficult sia..especially to those closer to me..c=..hope ya guys n gals dun mind if im writing nonsensically...hehez..

matches

2006-05-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

yoo!!! today early dismissal sia ...11.35am for fri..went to watch bgirls ..supposed to b damn zai..they all.. but after some tough fight against rjc..we stil lost..=c..but nvm..we rawk!! VJC rox foreva!! c=..ok..den after tt we stayed back to watch HC vs Aj..guys..wah damn zai..move lik lightning sia..got 2 aj guys tall lik mad..duno wat they eat..but in e end ...hwa c won..*neutral*..c=..so den we stoned again outside toa payoh stadium. took vv vv long to decide to take wat bus..hahaz..finally me yumi n wee..decided to pei guojie ernest jeremy he..to take 31..toook lik 40 min ba..alight at marine parade there..den gg..i realised i neva tak my ezlink frm seet..omg ..den i gg la later waste money again on transport..=c..oh yah..muz say my story bou e stupidity of me tis morn..damn stupid lehz..i damn tired den juz for e sake of not crossin e overhead bridge. i purposely took bus 27 all e way to airport terminal..omg..BIG mistake.. e stupid bus stoned there for duno how long..until i wait until hua dou xie le..*wither*.. my god..finallly e stupid bus left at 7.22 frm e terminal..my god..COnfirm late alr.. gg'ed.. so tts my story..haiz.. ok den back to afternoon la..me yumi wee went to carl's junior to eat...omg ...e mushroom burger damn nice..e creamy delicious mushroom sauce..mamamiya!! den got beef chilli cheese fries ...omg damn zai damn fantastic oso!! aiya..but neva got to eat my onionrings ..wasted sia..hm.. nxt time eat again..yo! c= bb..

*ren shi jian qing wei he wu*..ah~~..

2006-05-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

today i realised e reality of e world.. smth unspeakable.. hidden in my heart..neva can be spoken.. nor known to anyone.. at least tts wat i always do..time wil fade everything away.. i believe.. it always works.. there is a crack somewhere sometime someplace.. i dunno y is e torture a torture.. *low spirits* .. it probably has nth to do with anybody.. its my fault.. somehow.. my fault.. i dunno y im sayin all this.. hope u guys readin wun understand it..c=

*~ .everything is gone.with the gasp of a wind.~*

.my heart finally woke up.

nobody

2006-05-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

nobody in this world is perfect

everyone plays a part in everything

presence of some makes people happy

absence of some is just oblivious

some people just don't make a difference

..sadly..pitifully..

wishing e world is fair

..farewell to e world i thought is full of hope..

~goodbye~

total madness nonsense

2006-05-13T18:33:00.000+08:00

yo..today e whole day im stonin at home..jux went out for breakfast..brunch..n lunch with my parents.. ate mac..twsiter fries! yea..aniw..today we were supposed to go out de..but everyone kinda busy..gj got smth on..i forgot wat is tt..den yumi gotta cele her frien's bdae..den shaun got cca. sinee bo money..xiuyi duno wat happened to her..DEN wilson dun wanna go n jess got PW...so ended up ...only wee n litian went for movie together.waaa...watched voice sia..hm.. i was supposed to go..but i pang seh them again..hehex..no la..coz my mum dun let me go out .. so tts it.. N wee n lt was going to do something interestin..but i duno wats e outcome yet..damn sianz today..no outing le..damn sad..mon hav spa for me..=c..tue got econ test..sianz again..haven study yet..wed got cca..which i tink they gona announce e exco or smth..which actually e seniors are supposed to announce yesterday at jts..but they say not decided yet..wth..damn slow la they all..not efficient at all...oops..N e senirs all pang seh us for games in e afternoonn la..damn stupid leh..planned for them n ips n j1s to bond..in e end..only two ips n 2 seniors turned up..kns la..wat kind of bonding is tt??? aniw those who came ..jos..matt..deon..eugene..zihui..eunice..me..yea j1s rawks!!..den..daniel..rhesa..debby..junjie..we went poolin instead..hahaz..haven pooled in a loooonnng time le..skills rusty lik hell..aniw i stil managed to score a 45degree shot..whoops! yea..n later we went to arcade to stone..ok den jts le..went to fish n co..glass hse.. 16bucks flew out of my pocket..*vam*..den later after dinner seniors suggested goin somewhere..so decided to go ps..den sudenly reach there den everyone disappeared lik wind lik tt..leeft j1s alone again!! yea..n 1ipd guy la..damn sad leh he..only one who came for e whole day..so we stoned at ps arcade again..n went down to see deon n rhesa strummin guitar at yamaha..haahaa..den went up to arcade again..damn lame la..we watched a mother n 2 kids playin e softtoy machine..omg..tt mother was puttin 1buck coins in e machine lik free sia..*spoilt brats*..oh yah.. saw a lesbian couple playin too..e girl was tryin to hong e guy happy..oso put money in e machine lik free sia..*totally madness*..some kind of people..

badbadday

2006-05-11T19:23:00.000+08:00

today..damn suay...argh..FIRST time in vj i can stroll in ...n not b late..but a stupidstupid happened ..make me wana die..ARGH...talktalktalk to yumi n deanna until duno wat happen..suddenly mr tan was shoutin at j1s to move into hall..den duno whose ingenius idea not to run in..n pretend tt we r j2s..den later walk bou in canteen..n wana sneak back into e hall...ALAMAK..seen by tan u hwee..wateva his name is spelt.. i feel lik dyin on e spot alr.. somemore e first thing he say is AIR RIFLE one ar in a loud loud voice..i gg'ed ..argh..omg..wats gona happen to me? my god.. he gona tell my arc teacher n im gona gg..den later stil gota find tan to make jersey for arc..omg.. how m i gona face him... haiz. e whole day im tinkin bou tis thing..damn depressed now..tml stil got jts..with arc..haiz..jersey design gona drag til nxt week again. my god. such a bad day..den ther r small small things lik yumi sent me a msg frm litian to sook yee..den i just happen to clear my msgs.. e msg flew away. den rush lik mad to finish e sook yee booklet.. jus to squeeze into e stupid box of mine..actually no planning sia..i feel bit idiotic cuttin all e papers just to fit into e stupid box. ok la its for sook yee..but feel kinda bad ..make yumi cut e paper just to fit into my box...c=..wah..i stil cant believe i de zui so many teachrs since i came to vj..mg..last time i damn guai de la..argh..sobsob..tan scold me n yumi today...bad impression boy...sianz..depressin..boo..go n sleep le..tired sia..tml got jts..c=

rAnDom laaa~

2006-05-11T01:08:00.000+08:00

today..nth much happened..just tt i was damn alert...hahaz.. i should really stop puttin so many dots in my sentences.. oops.! aniw. slept at 7 yesterday ma.. muz replenish sleep. aiya. u all wil noe. oh yah. tml playin pool. yea! got shaun n com.. feel lik sleepin now le.. argh!!!! stop puttin dots!! smack my hand ar.. ok. aaahhh. i duno wat to do with my life. its kinda of in a mess now. my work gg alr. duno how to guo my midy exam. wat to do wat to do...damn sad oso..my cca gg..dun tink i got chance to b vice le. secretary oso di wei nan bao. haiz. damn sad. oh yeah! today frisbee for arc..lame la..but fun! hahaz.. today got lectured by mr chow. hm..duno if its good or bad really..hm..aniw..enough bou this borin stuff..i tink my reputation in sch damn bad leh..even chow noe bou my stuff..haiz. sad. BOO! stil gotta do e jersey n jac thingy ..aiya..woosh rawks sia.. stil my clas beta!! but i duno when i can eva start muggin..argh..i tink im a lazy bum. damn lazy one.. haiz..tml sook yee leavin..lost one source of entertainment again.. damn sad.. hey yah..i wana random again..hey yumi..wat happened to ur 2 admirers ...neva see them alr..aniw..tink i muz go n do my card for sook yee alr...if not i no need sleep alr again!!. bbb..

first eva...c=

2006-04-25T03:41:00.000+08:00

yo..time now is 3.42am ...just finished doin my pi..later kana rejected den damn sad again..aniwae tml's final deadline for vjc...=c duno wat will happen??? who knows..... tis is first entry of my blog...yeah! woosh. 06s39 rawks ! ! !

.captivating night.touches me foreva.

hi dead blog

first official blog of 2008

random

emo

hope?

day of nationals.

random but preaching session from jer he for the first n longest conversation

thurs night-supposed to do gp but tink i wil drag til tml

bored..in the process of poning econ remedial

done for.

CODE!!!

i like u

YOON EUN HYE!!!! luv ya!!!!

YOON EUN HYE!!!! luv ya!!!!

Me??

i need to wake a dead life

freakin out..aahhhhhhhhhhhhh

sianz..

first day at work..flyers..

happy day sia with k4

boo

sianz..hols

boo

matches

nobody

*total madness nonsense*

badbadday

rAnDom laaa~

first eva...c=

total madness nonsense